‘Coleen Rooney’s forgiven Wayne – but his need to cheat was never about sex’ – Margaret Bankole

Wayne Rooney’s cheating is never just about the sex – it shows there’s an unmet need deep within him, but that doesn’t mean Coleen has to fix it, says relationship expert Margaret Bankole

"Coleen has stayed silent to protect Wayne’s brand, while damaging her own self esteem and brand" (Image: AFP/Getty Images)opinionByMargaret Bankole

  • 13:45, 13 Oct 2021
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Coleen Rooney has finally spoken out about Wayne Rooney’s affairs after 19 years.

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That’s nearly two decades of silence and smiling sweetly for the cameras. The fact that she is only speaking out now is very telling, and it seems indicative of the line that she has taken over the years: passive

Coleen has stayed silent to protect Wayne’s brand, while damaging her own self esteem and brand. Wayne has been caught red-handed with prostitutes, threesomes, and a number of different women, as recently as 2019.

Despite this, I think there is a real chance of sustainable and long lasting change – but Coleen should give Wayne a firm ultimatum.

As a relationship counsellor, I have seen many relationships on the brink of breakdown turn around to be happy, solid partnerships – but both parties were willing to commit to the process, and I think that is what is needed here.

Have you been in a situation like Coleen's – and how did you deal with it? Let us know in the comments below

Coleen Rooney says she forgives her husband but his past behaviour 'wasn't acceptable' in the trailer for a new Amazon Prime documentary about Wayne
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Image:
AMAZON PRIME)

They both need to commit to the process, and get to the underlying issues of Wayne’s behaviour. Men do not cheat for the sake of it. It’s to fulfil an unmet need, and I think that unmet need is deep within Wayne.

He was thrust in to the limelight from an early age, and he craves attention. He needs it. It’s not just about the sex. It never is when someone cheats.

Lizzie Cundy calls Coleen Rooney brave for talking about Wayne's 'infidelity'

Getting to the root of why Wayne feels the need to cheat when he has a beautiful wife at home is the first step. This could take months, even years of counselling, but Wayne needs to be honest with himself.

I think Coleen needs to work on her self esteem during this time too, so they need to work on themselves as individuals first, then on their relationship together, and Coleen needs to lay down the law.

Wayne and Coleen were childhood sweethearts and have four sons together
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Image:
Coleen Rooney/Instagram)

Minimising the amount of time he goes out with “the lads”.

Not being alone with any woman in an enclosed space.

Avoiding flirting. Flirting might seem innocent, but you don’t flirt with people you find unattractive, so innuendo and flirting with anyone should be avoided

Being open with his phones, and concealing nothing.

'Tired' Coleen Rooney 'forced to accept Wayne's betrayal', says body language expert

If Wayne cheats again, Coleen should leave him without question. The reality is, she has already given him enough chances, but working on her self esteem will make her see that she is better than this.

No one should stay with someone who persistently cheats on them and disrespects them, but as she is still with him, she needs to be firm.

Make no mistake: Wayne Rooney is entirely to blame for his behaviour. But if Coleen is going to stay in their marriage, she cannot continuously turn a blind eye, and no woman should.

He needs to fix up, or go.

Margaret Bankole is a relationship expert and counsellor with more than 25 years of experience.

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