Former Fulham and Brighton goalkeeper David Stockdale has shown another side of himself on his website, and you will notice something new every time you look at it
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- 15:15, 20 Jan 2022
What is the first thing you think of when someone mentions the name of former Premier League goalkeeper David Stockdale?
Is it the time he scored two own goals in the same game to see his Brighton team miss out on the Championship title?
Perhaps it's his final season at Fulham, where he sat on the bench for the memorable 2-2 draw at Old Trafford (or 'the 81 crosses game', as some remember it).
It might even be his status as one of the only men to be called up by both England and 'England C', some seven years apart.
Now, though, it's time to forget everything you thought you knew about David Stockdale, and allow him to reintroduce himself.
The Wycombe Wanderers goalkeeper has a new website, and it's a thing of beauty.
What is your favourite part of David Stockdale's website? Have your say in the comments section
Stockdale's website is a thing of beauty
Stockdale's presentation of himself lies somewhere between David Brent and Garth Marenghi, with the upshot being a man who might be described as a "businessman… philanthropist… pundit. Plus athlete".
"You know the goalkeeper – now find out about the personality," the website introduction begins, in a comment which assumes a lot about the average reader's familiarity with second and third tier English football over the last seven-and-a-half years.
"David Stockdale is a brilliant goalkeeper but there is far more to him than just commanding presence and awesome shot-stopping," we are told.
He's a friend first, a commanding presence second. Probably a shot-stopper third.
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How is the decision to mention "his classic 1986 Ferrari Mondial" relevant to David Stockdale's business acumen? We're not sure. But then again, we're not the ones with a fancy website full of high-grade professional photographs so we'll bow to his expertise on this one.
Ah, yes, the photos. So many questions. Are all of them about the chessboard? No, but most of them are.
Nothing says "I'm a businessman" like sitting in an armchair with cigars, a globe and a chessboard, but why does he look so confused by all of it? Surely the simple concepts aren't too much for him, so we can only assume the baffled look is because he's not used to seeing his hands without gloves on.
Oh, and why does the first photo have the white pieces facing him, while he's playing as black in the second? Was he just playing back-to-back games during the shoot?
David Stockdale is a man of multitudes
We don't want to be too harsh on Stockdale, given his well-documented philanthropic work. Sure, it's mostly been well-documented on his own website, but the point stands.
"Given his naturally generous nature and previous philanthropic work, David would like to hear about opportunities to become a charity patron," the site implores, painting a picture of Stockdale showing up at charities' head offices like Peter Odemwingie trying to secure a move to QPR.
The coup de grace is still to come, though, with the 36-year-old's "everyman" appeal laid out in full. Not our words, Carol, the words of davidstockdale13.co.uk.
There is more to David Stockdale than meets the eye
"His distinguished yet everyman character makes him perfect for advertising campaigns for high-end, male-targeted products," the site claims. But wait, there's more…
"But his sensitive side also makes him the ideal candidate to spearhead projects to raise awareness of causes men might usually shy away from – mental health, charity causes and male-specific health issues.
"Surrounded by strong, independent women in his life, David has an unswerving respect for women across the board and would welcome the chance to promote equal-opportunity and diversity campaigns."
Not just respect, but "unswerving" respect. The people have been well and truly won over.
The response on Twitter has been… let's say "enthusiastic".
"Pure Partridge with a bit of Brent thrown into it," was one description, while another fan (Of Stockdale? Of web design? It's not important) asked the very reasonable question "Why is he trying to simultaneously change the time on his watch and stare into the camera?".
However, we'll leave the last word to Stockdale himself. More specifically, Stockdale the pundit.
"As his football career continues to thrive, David is ready to throw himself into other business ventures," the blurb reads.
"Watch this space."
Oh, we will.
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