Tom Daley has confessed that he feels there is ‘extra pressure’ on same sex couples to be ‘good parents’.
The Olympic diver, 27, who welcomed his son Robbie via surrogacy with his husband Dustin Lance Black, 47, three years ago, revealed that he sometimes feels judged by people when out in public.
Speaking to Giovanna Fletcher on her Happy Mum Happy Baby podcast, Tom explained: ‘Being same sex dads, I felt a lot of extra pressure to be good parents and to be doing the right thing.’
‘We have to prove ourselves’: Tom Daley, 27, has said there is ‘extra pressure’ on same sex couples as he detailed parenting son Robbie Ray with husband Dustin Lance Black
He continued: ‘You do always feel a bit judged when you’re out in public because you want to be showing that you’re doing the best you possibly can, and I think it can be weird sometimes for people to see two dads and a baby.
‘We always felt like we had to be the best parents that we could ever be and do all of the right things, we were desperate to be parents just like everybody else.
‘It was that constant feeling of having to prove ourselves above and beyond.’
Family: The Olympic diver who welcomed a son via surrogacy with his Screenwriter husband Dustin, 47, three years ago, revealed that he feels judged by people when out in public
Tom discussed the complexity of same sex couples becoming parents as he revealed his worries that came when he first realised that he was gay.
He said: ‘Once I started to realise that I was gay, it was like, how am I going to have children in the future? What does this look like for me? What are the options?
‘Having to figure out exactly how that was going to work, looking down the routes of adoption, surrogacy and all of those different things.’
‘It is a lot more complicated for same sex parents to have children and you have to really think about it and like really, really want to have kids in order to be able to make it work and it’s extremely complex for same sex couples in a number of different ways.’
Doting dad: Tom revealed his worries as he said: ‘Once I started to realise that I was gay, it was like, how am I going to have children in the future? What does this look like for me?’
Tom detailed his and Lance’s decision to welcome their son Robert Ray, now three, back in 2018 via surrogacy.
The star who lost his father Rob Daley back in 2011 at the age of 40, added that he wanted to ‘pass on’ their family genes, after tragically losing many family members.
Tom explained: ‘Lance and I had lost so many people in our families and there was something about surrogacy that we were drawn to that just meant that we could pass on the people that we’d lost, their genes and their thoughts, their feelings, their personalities and being able to bring someone into the world, that felt so extremely special.’
Adorable: Tom detailed his and Lance’s decision to welcome their son Robert Ray, now three, back in 2018 via surrogacy
The Plymouth born diver and the American screenwriter, decided to go through with the process in the US, as Tom explained how in the UK both surrogates and parents are not afforded the same legal rights .
Tom previously explained they both provided sperm to fertilise their surrogate’s eggs, but do not wish to know who the biological father is.
He added: ‘We looked into it in the UK and in the US. In the UK it’s a lot more complicated because surrogates aren’t as well protected legally, intended parents aren’t protected legally, it’s just not safe, there’s a lot of hurdles to have to jump over.
‘In the US, everything is regulated in a way that keeps everyone safe and in the US the surrogacy process is a lot more streamlined.’
Cute: The couple chose to raise Robbie in London after the couple made the ‘difficult’ decision to choose to live in the UK despite negative reaction to their surrogacy
The couple chose to raise Robbie in London after the couple made the ‘difficult’ decision to choose to live in the UK despite negative reaction to their surrogacy.
Of their gratitude towards their surrogate he added: ‘There are no words to describe how grateful you can be to someone our surrogate is so special, we speak to her all the time on Facetime with Robby.’
Speaking to BBC Radio at the time of their son’s birth Tom said: ‘In the US, where we’ve been working with our surrogate, the reception was incredibly warm, with almost no exception.’
But, he added, that in the UK ‘We heard things that weren’t so friendly. Maybe because there are misconceptions about surrogacy here.’
Thankful: Of their gratitude towards their surrogate he added: ‘There are no words to describe how grateful you can be to someone our surrogate is so special’
- Happy Mum Happy Baby on acast